Family

Behavior is the family’s glue – not feelings

If feelings solely drive our family relationships then we will fail in our responsibilities to each other, and our family bonds will feel more like ball-and-chains.

So:

  • The Lord teaches husbands to love their wife (Ephesians 5:25); this isn’t feelings alone – it’s action.
  • The Lord teaches wives to submit to their husband (Ephesians 5:22); this isn’t feelings alone – it’s action.
  • The Lord teaches parents to raise children according to godly guidelines (Ephesians 6:4); this isn’t feelings alone – it’s actions.
  • The Lord teaches children to respect their parents (Ephesians 6:1); this isn’t feelings alone – it’s action.

Feelings waiver, wilt, wander, wish and become wily even within families, but listening to God is always beneficial for all.

This is why actions that please the Lord take precedent over feelings that may feel pleasing to self…because pleasing self can end up peeling us away from what’s truly important. But then again, that’s exactly why following Jesus makes for some crazy glue when it comes to the family. EA

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:18-21)

Don’t Slip on the Words of a Smooth Talker

Some people see a ring on the finger and they respect the boundary that it represents.

Some see a ring on the finger and they see as it a challenge.

To such a person the “game” begins with the end goal in sight: false flattery, ego inflation, and an up-tick in excitement which reaches a point of infatuation that ignores the obvious – righteousness and the cost.

Such is the danger of allowing our heart to slip on the words of a smooth talker that has no regard for our soul. EA

My son, pay attention to my wisdom; lend your ear to my understanding, that you may preserve discretion, and your lips may keep knowledge. For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of hell.” Proverbs 5:1-5

 

Don’t Forget the One Who Allows us to Make the Memories

As family centered individuals we strive to avoid forgetting to make important memories by taking family vacations, by having over friends for a meal, or by watching our children grow older and going to their school and extra-curricular activities and seeing them graduate and succeed on various levels in life. But while we strive to avoid forgetting to make these memories, are we forgetting the one who allows us to make them?

When it comes to making the most important memories of life, David once penned the importance of remembering God by saying:

Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits:” (Psalm 102:1-2)

As our culture rushes on, as our lives continually become fleeting and the memories that we have made increasingly become a thing of the past, we would all do well to presently remember the Lord God who calls us to love him with all of our heart, soul and mind (Matthew 22:37).

At the end of the day no picture of our youth, our wedding, our children, our first home, our vacations, our vehicles or any “good time” can replace the memory of not forgetting the one who allows those memories to be made. EA 

Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgments, and His statutes which I command you today, lest—when you have eaten and are full, and have built beautiful houses and dwell in them; and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and your gold are multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied; when your heart is lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage; who led you through that great and terrible wilderness, in which were fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty land where there was no water; who brought water for you out of the flinty rock; who fed you in the wilderness with manna, which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do you good in the end—then you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth.’ “And you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day. Then it shall be, if you by any means forget the Lord your God, and follow other gods, and serve them and worship them, I testify against you this day that you shall surely perish.” (Deuteronomy 8:11-19)

The Value of a godly Grand-Parent

Godly grandparents are an uncommon commodity. They share the one thing that each new generation needs – advice learned through experience.

This is one reason why Proverbs 16:31 says, “The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, if it is found in the way of righteousness.”

Few parents like to be told how to raise their child, but advice asked for and advice needed is two different things.

When it comes to advice needed, godly grandparents need to do three things:

  • remind their own children about the importance of raising up their child in the footsteps of Jesus
  • remind their own children about the importance of raising up their child in the footsteps of Jesus
  • remind their own children about the importance of raising up their child in the footsteps of Jesus

Do these three things and grand will only begin to describe your value. EA

The heritage of the good man is handed down to his children’s children; and the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the upright man.” (Proverbs 13:22 – BBE)

Related Article:

Will God Bring Peace To My Family?

Few problems burden our sanity like family problems. When issues divide us from the people we’re closest to it hurts, and it can hurt really bad. And when we hurt like that we look for answers where we can find them, and more often than not the average person is more interested in drawing close to God when troublesome times draw near than at any other time – and this is especially true when family ties feel like they’re going to be cut. And a civil-war brewing under our roof can make a person want to know if God will bring peace to their family.

While I can completely and personally understand the want, most people ask the wrong question when it comes to God and family and peace. It’s not a matter of God’s will; it’s a matter of our own. The question that we should ask is, “Can God bring peace to my family?” Because the answer to that question is, yes! God wants families to live in peace with one another. But will God bring peace to every family? Sadly, the answer to that is, no. And he won’t because every family member won’t want the peace that he offers.

When family problems arise I encourage everyone to remember that just because you draw near to God doesn’t mean that others will follow with you, and Jesus said this much himself (Luke 12:51-53). So if we want the peace of God in our family we need to start by having it within our self – because we might be the only ones who know anything about it. EA

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Knot a Care

If a husband and wife wants to be one flesh in the way that God intends for us to be then we have to care about each other in a way that ties the marriage knot so tight that all the changes of life that come our way can’t loosen it. So if we learn to care for our spouse better than we care for our self then we won’t be able to keep from being one flesh (Ephesians 5:31).

Unless we care about each other we will get stuck on everything but each other and change in ways that aren’t good. One of the most common things that people will say when their marriage relationship sours is that the other person changed, and more often than not there’s something to that. People changing as we go through life is normal and not necessarily a bad thing – more than likely there’s not a single person who’s reading this living life as the same person that they were five years ago. But when we start to change in a way that causes us to care less about our spouse and family then we’re not changing for the better, and the change won’t be worth it. This type of change doesn’t start with our body, our job, our hobbies or our habits all by themselves. It starts in our heart and mind, and then it moves from our feelings to our words and actions.

But when we care about each other there will be a commitment that keeps us together no matter the change. Being committed means that we’re in it for better or worse, for sickness or health, for richer or poorer and whatever opposite end of the spectrums you can think of. My wife is not the same person that she was when we got married – and I’m not either. But however I feel about the changes in her life I’ve got to remember that whatever they are I’m going to be committed to her through them.

Now I’m not saying that we ignore sinful behavior or that my relationship with God takes a back seat for the sake of my relationship with my wife. But what I am saying is that if we care about each other in a godly way then there will be a commitment that the world won’t be able to ignore, and a commitment that God will bless.

When one person cares about the other the other person won’t be able to deny it. And that’s because our time, our heart and our life will belong to them and they’ll know it. Yes, that also means that our flaws are going to belong to them too. But when we care we’ll learn to put our flaws and their flaws in their right perspective and that perspective is the one that says, “I know I care for them and I know they care for me.” And when we know that then we’ll have a knot that ties us together for good. EA

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:28-33)

Think You’re Man Enough?

What makes a man a man? I guess that depends on whose standard you’re using. Ask the world and ask God and you’ll get two different answers.

Must he be tall to be considered a man? Not according to Zacchaeus! (Luke 19:1-10) Must he be rich to be considered a man? Not according to Peter! (Acts 3:6) Must he have a job with great authority? Not according to Andrew or James! (Matthew 4:18-22) Must he be a graduate of higher learning? Not according to John! (Acts 4:13) Must he be willing to defend his reputation physically? Not according to Jesus! (Matthew 5:38-39)

So what must one be to be a man? He must love God, his family and his neighbor in a way that the world doesn’t measure up to – think you’re man enough for that? EA

But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.” (1 Timothy 6:11)

Related Topic: