If a husband and wife wants to be one flesh in the way that God intends for us to be then we have to care about each other in a way that ties the marriage knot so tight that all the changes of life that come our way can’t loosen it. So if we learn to care for our spouse better than we care for our self then we won’t be able to keep from being one flesh (Ephesians 5:31).
Unless we care about each other we will get stuck on everything but each other and change in ways that aren’t good. One of the most common things that people will say when their marriage relationship sours is that the other person changed, and more often than not there’s something to that. People changing as we go through life is normal and not necessarily a bad thing – more than likely there’s not a single person who’s reading this living life as the same person that they were five years ago. But when we start to change in a way that causes us to care less about our spouse and family then we’re not changing for the better, and the change won’t be worth it. This type of change doesn’t start with our body, our job, our hobbies or our habits all by themselves. It starts in our heart and mind, and then it moves from our feelings to our words and actions.
But when we care about each other there will be a commitment that keeps us together no matter the change. Being committed means that we’re in it for better or worse, for sickness or health, for richer or poorer and whatever opposite end of the spectrums you can think of. My wife is not the same person that she was when we got married – and I’m not either. But however I feel about the changes in her life I’ve got to remember that whatever they are I’m going to be committed to her through them.
Now I’m not saying that we ignore sinful behavior or that my relationship with God takes a back seat for the sake of my relationship with my wife. But what I am saying is that if we care about each other in a godly way then there will be a commitment that the world won’t be able to ignore, and a commitment that God will bless.
When one person cares about the other the other person won’t be able to deny it. And that’s because our time, our heart and our life will belong to them and they’ll know it. Yes, that also means that our flaws are going to belong to them too. But when we care we’ll learn to put our flaws and their flaws in their right perspective and that perspective is the one that says, “I know I care for them and I know they care for me.” And when we know that then we’ll have a knot that ties us together for good. EA
“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:28-33)