Is it “Ball-n-Chain” or “Family Bonds”?

Many homes in the church are suffering from a bad dose of worldly thinking when it comes to the family and the arrangements God has given. His design has been clear for thousands of years despite the political, cultural and even “religious” attempts of the past and present to cloud it up. God takes the family and the roles He has designated seriously whether we decide to or not.

Marriage is meant to come before “shacking up” and “baby-making.” Playing house will never be the same as the real deal (John 4:16-18). The wrong attitude toward this is dangerous and calling it whatever we want will not change what it is; it can and will cost a person their soul! (Hebrews 13:4)

Biblical marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman alone! One at a time! Designed to last a lifetime! Fornication is the one and only exception! (Matthew 19:1-9) God is more concerned with holiness than with happiness. A match made in heaven must first have heaven’s blessings.

Husbands are meant to be the head of the family. That means the leader and decision maker for the family (in accordance with God’s will – 1 Corinthians 11:3). Husbands, we need to realize that responsibility is not an optional accessory.  Being the head of the family does not mean the inferiority of others in the family. The caveman mentality just makes a man look like a bonehead. A husband must love their wife more than himself (Ephesians 5:25,28,29). That’s huge! Have a problem with that take it up with God; see where that gets you. Treat your wife like trash and your relationship with her and God may end up in the landfill! (1 Peter 3:7)

Wives are expected to respect, support and help their husband (Ephesians 5:23,24,33). Want to be your own boss? Then stay single. Want to start a successful family? Then follow the successful plan. Feminine is beautiful – feminism is ugly and self-damaging. So many women (as are many men) are robbing themselves of lasting satisfaction in life in pursuit of vain and temporary workplace achievements. Our culture looks down on a woman who wants to be a good mother and a good wife while being godly in both. Nothing is stronger or more beautiful than a godly wife! (1st Peter 3:1-6)

Parents raise your children according to God’s rules and children obey your parents! (Ephesians 6:1-4) Easy? Nope. Expected? Yup! Nuff said about that.

This post may not sit well with many but please do not think I am trying to be brash or arrogant in anything that I am saying. I am saying this from the point of view of a child that would have benefited so much more if my parents would have trusted God’s directions for the family. I am saying this from the point of view of a Christian that has witnessed too many divorces within the church. I am saying this from the point of view that does not want to see any more hearts crushed because vows get broken. Stronger families make stronger people.

The family was designed to hold us together not hold us down! Marriages are meant to create family bonds not ball-n-chains.

Examine God’s word and His way. Times may be changing but God has not changed His mind concerning His design. Have you?


  1. Perhaps a primary problem is the backwards execution of the Kingdom. The American Church is putting the world’s system into the Church, rather than taking the Kingdom and living it in the world. We need less of, what we think to be, evangelism (e.g. passing tracts and screaming at people), and more of a truly transformed person in and through the power of the Spirit and life in Jesus.

    Particular to this post, we have a vehemently inadequate value of family because of the Western obsession with individualism. No sense of community trickles down to a horrible version of family.

  2. Good post. Did you miss a “not” in the 4th paragraph? Others are or are not inferior?

    You are right on about the option women have though. I think so often we push women (girls) into getting married and the older they are…the more we push. Why not push women to serve God and if marriage comes along (which it will for many) then it comes along.

    These truths however, can’t all be covered in 3 hours a week at church. Parents have to instill it.

    1. Yes, I did leave that “not” out. Thanks for pointing that out because that was a big typo (my apologies to anyone who got the wrong impression). My intent was to address men who think that their wife is the “foot” of the marriage because they are the head and that children should be afraid of them instead of the biblical principle of fear (respect). Thank you very much for the comment and for pointing out my goof up.

  3. Eugene this is an excellent post! Good job putting it together. It will take good men to help women become the Proverbs 31 woman. First understanding what kind that really is and secondly living the principles laid as often as possible.

    1. Thanks. I think the average husband (myself included at times) really takes our responsibility too lightly when it comes to loving our wife like Christ loved the church and fulfilling our role as a godly leader. Paul wasn’t talking about what it takes to be a good husband – he was talking about what it takes to be a godly one.

      Thanks for the comment T.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s